Five things a woman wants in marriage

Every little girl dreams of marrying a handsome, prince-like young man and living happily ever after. Sometimes, those wishes come true. Once committed, most women will work their hearts out to make their marriage succeed. However, there are certain qualities she will expect from the man she vows to love, honor and obey for the rest of her life. Among them are:

1. Fidelity

If a woman cannot trust her husband to be faithful in all aspects of their relationship, then the marriage is probably doomed to failure. Of course, physical fidelity is of the utmost importance. In addition, a wife should be able to trust that her husband will not discuss the problems and complaints, which arise periodically in any marriage, with outsiders. Ideally,  partners should be able to discuss difficulties openly and negotiate satisfactory solutions calmly and reasonably.    

2. Love

Physical intimacy is essential during the early years of marriage; however, as  time passes the importance of love manifested as a deep, abiding friendship and mutual respect becomes increasingly important. As years pass, either spouse may develop physical problems which limit the expression of marital intimacy. If the relationship has evolved to the phase wherein each one truly considers the other his or her best and most trusted friend, the marriage can survive whatever difficulties life presents. 

3. Partnership

 Most wives are willing to commit their all to make their marriage a success. However, few are foolish enough to accept one hundred percent of the responsibilities the union will entail. If the wife agrees to works outside the home to help support the family, the husband must be ready to share half of the childcare duties and household chores. The privileges and responsibilities of successful marriages are a fifty-fifty proposition.

4. Tolerance

No human being is perfect and every marriage will experience its share of bumps along the way. Each partner must try to be non-judgemental, to control his or her temper, and to allow a spouse extra space when he or she is having a bad day.  Temper tantrums, accusations, put-downs, and hurtful comments will be remembered long after any temporary irritation is forgotten. However, patience, kindness and understanding will pay dividends to the tolerant partner when the tables are turned, some day in the future.

 5. Humor

Women love men who can make them laugh. Most situations in life, which seem irritating or serious at the time, will also have a funny side, if one takes the trouble to look for it. Humor goes a long way dispel tension and dissipate anxiety. The wise husband will make it a priority to coax a giggle, a chuckle, or at least a smile from his spouse several times a day. From these comic-relief moments will spring the anecdotes both parties will recall with pleasure in the years to come.

 Admittedly, most young husbands are not handsome, prince-like beings, but their imperfections will be probably be overlooked if they try to adopt the above personality traits. In all fairness, young wives will not always look or act like perfect princesses either. That's when fidelity, love, partnership, tolerance and humor must be evident in the behaviors of both spouses.   

Why I hate Winter

I hated it as a child, I hated it as a teenager, I hated it as a teacher, I hated it as a parent, and now as a senior I hate Winter more than ever! The fact that I have always lived in the same city, in Southern Ontario, Canada, is probably a huge contributing factor to my negative attitude.

When I was young, my long-suffering mother would dress me up in leggings, boots, snow jacket, hat, hood and mittens so I could go out and play in the snow. Ten minutes later, she'd reverse the process because my mitts were wet, my hands were freezing, my socks were soggy and my boots were stuffed with the cold white stuff. Besides, there was nothing to do out there.

Undaunted, she signed me up for skating lessons at the "Winter Club", at the local arena.. I soon discovered that ice skating was not among my limited list of talents. Now I had skinned knees, bruises and a sore posterior to add to the long list of winter miseries.

The teen years were no improvement, only now I had to dress myself. Trudging off to high school through a raging blizzard, like Nanook of the North, loaded down with books was not my idea of fun. Indulging in any outdoor winter sports would have seemed like an undeserved punishment.

It's no wonder I did well at school. Sitting in a warm house doing Homework seemed the best of all available choices during the Winter months.

Eventually I became a teacher, spending most of my career in the early grades. Then, guess what? It was payback time. I had twenty-odd little souls to manoeuvre in and out of winter clothing eight times a day from November through March. Sometimes parents would come early to pick up their child and they'd help with some of the others. I could have kissed them, but I was afraid I'd scare them away and they wouldn't come back and help again.

To add to the fun, the children were bussed to the arena for weekly skating sessions during January and February. These took the place of the usual Physical Education lessons. Every young Canadian would naturally love the activity, and have a natural proclivity for moving gracefully around the ice-covered surface on skates, right? Wrong!

The teachers were expected to be on the ice with the children, in case there was an accident. Most of them were, gliding along on their skates giving pointers to the odd child who was having problems.

Then there was me. I didn't dare risk trying to skate; I'd learned my lesson in that area years ago. I shuffled along in my winter boots, which covered two pair of socks on my cold, numb feet and I prayed for this torturous period in Purgatory to pass quickly.

My first marriage lasted ten years before my husband left for greener pastures leaving me with four children under eleven to raise. The three boys should have been encouraged to join hockey teams, like their friends. But, besides the prohibitive financial considerations, the practices took place at five A.M. and I just couldn't face dragging us all out in the cold at that unholy hour, standing around in a frozen arena for two hours and then teaching all day. Selfish, you think? Lazy? Maybe, but I just couldn't handle it at the time.

To be honest, there were a lot of winter sports and activities they missed out because of my hatred of the coldest season.

Now, I'm a senior, retired and happily married for thirty-five to my second husband, but there's one thing that hasn't changed. I still hate winter. As I write, I'm wearing two pair of woolly socks under my shoes, a fluffy jacket, and heavy jeans. The house is 72 degrees F.

You may be asking, if I won the lottery, would I move to a warmer climate? No, not at this stage of my life. My children, my grandchildren and my family are all near me here. Being retired, I don't usually have to go outside on the worst days, and I've become quite good at cocooning. You might say that Old Man Winter and I have reached a state of respectful coexistence.

Besides I may have the last laugh yet. On days when I go to the window to see the snow blowing around and hear the wind howling, I whisper a message to him under my breath and smile an evil smile: " Have fun while you can - GLOBAL WARMING is proceeding ahead of schedule"!

Ten reasons to throw a party

Parties are fun. Since humans are social creatures, most of us enjoy getting together with people with whom we share friendship, bloodlines, or common interests. Parties are opportunities to mingle, visit and catch up on the news in a relaxed, pleasant atmosphere. Here are ten occasions which offer splendid excuses for an individual or a group of people, to suggest and/or arrange a party:

 1. Birthday

 When someone dear has survived and enriched the lives of those around him or her for another year, it is surely cause for a celebration. The very young and the very old are often especially honored.

2. Christmas

Christians celebrate Jesus' birthday on December 25th. each year. As the Magi brought gifts to the Baby, families and friends exchange gifts to celebrate the day. Santa Claus has evolved into the symbol of Christmas for the very young. Families gather to feast and enjoy each other's company.

3. New Year's Eve

Hurray! We've all survived another year and January 1st. signals an opportunity to begin anew. Many folks resolve to make changes which will improve their lives. Often friends will gather to raise a glass or two to toast the departing and incoming years.  

4. Halloween

"All Hallow's Eve" or "Halloween", has evolved from the celebration of the Christian holyday: "All Saints Day", observed on November 1st. Costumed children collect candy from door to door in the neighborhood; costumed grownups party later in the evening, participating in dancing and merrymaking to keep the evil spirits away.

 5. Thanksgiving

This family holiday, observed in the United States on a Sunday near the end of November ushers in the Christmas season. People give thanks for the recent harvest and other blessings received during the past year. Family groups gather from far and near to share the traditional turkey dinner.

6. Bridal Shower/ Stag Party

 Young people, preparing to be married, celebrate with their friends. The bride, the guest of honor, receives a shower of gifts and good wishes from her girlfriends. The prospective groom gathers with his buddies to mark his final days of carefree bachelorhood.

 7. Wedding

What could be more joyful than a wedding reception?  A young couple have developed enough faith in each other and the future, to pledge love and faithfulness until death do them part. A new family has been formed! Friends, relatives and the entire community have reason to celebrate.

 8. Anniversary

 Today, when almost half of marriages end in divorce, every anniversary should be cause for celebration. Maintaining a successful marriage takes effort and when two people achieve  another year of wedded bliss, they deserve a party. The longer the marriage, the more joyous the celebration should be. The fiftieth anniversary should be a real blowout!

 9. Independence Day

 The United States celebrates Independence Day on July 4th. Canada has Canada Day on July 1st. These beautiful, warm summer days are perfect for citizens of both countries to celebrate their joy and gratitude for living in free, democratic societies.

 10. Family Reunion

 Sadly, many families only gather for funerals and weddings, when the mood and the time limits are not conductive to relaxed visiting and in-depth conversations. This situation can be remedied by an annual or biennial family reunion. This can be arranged as an outdoor event in summer weather, with all guests contributing to a grand potluck dinner.

 These are only a few occasions which may prompt individuals or groups to give a party. Actually, there are hundreds of reasons a creative person could come up with: an un-birthday party, a celebration of Spring, Summer, Autumn or Winter, a pre- or post- holiday party, to welcome a new pet, job, or the completion of a remodelng project. The list is endless. Try to plan a  get together soon; after all, parties are fun!

Grandpa J.

My grandpa was the town drunk. You could ask anyone who lived in his small Northern Ontario village in the nineteen forties; everyone knew him, and just about everyone liked him too. He was a happy drunk, and, drunk or sober, he could tell stories that would make anyone within hearing distance roar with laughter.

I only saw him for a few weeks every summer when we made our annual trip to the cottage. While there, we often came into town so Mother could visit her parents, and five siblings. I loved visiting at Grandma's because there were always lots of cousins running in and out, and the grown-ups were always so busy talking that they didn't pay much attention to us kids. We had some grand adventures!

If Grandpa tried to sneak away during these visits, Grandma (old hawk-eye that she was) would holler at all of the grandkids around, " Go follow your grandfather and make sure he doesn't go into the hotel!" Then the fun began. Grandpa would totter down the main street, whistling, hands in the pockets of his saggy black pants, pretending he didn't hear the giggling troupe behind him, as we ran from one telephone pole to the next, trying to hide.

After two blocks the hotel came into view. Beside it there was the General Store and next to that, the ice cream parlor. Suddenly Grandpa would halt in his tracks and muse aloud, "I wonder if anyone around here would like an ice cream cone." Of course, he was quickly surrounded by a cluster of grandchildren to whom that sounded like a great idea! Grandpa would pull out a handful of nickels and we'd be off for treats. Of course when we came back, he'd have disappeared. The saloon had won another round. During all the summers we spent up north, the game nor its outcome, never varied. The only one who didn't enjoy it was Grandma.

We used to think that she was mean. We often heard her nagging and scolding him. With the limited understanding of the young, he seemed to be the victim and she his tormentor. He seemed such a harmless, happy old soul and he only wanted to be left alone. We were unquestionably on Grandpa's side of the never-ending struggle against the Demon Whiskey.

Looking back through adult eyes, I think it was probably a classic example of the old situation: " She nagged because he drank, and he drank because she nagged." What a sad life they must have shared for many years. I'm glad I didn't have the maturity to view the reality of their day-to-day existence and their marriage.

As things are, my sister, my cousins and I are left with a priceless legacy of memories of happy summers up north, and humorous anecdotes of visits with Grandma and Grandpa. They make us roar with laughter just as heartily as if Grandpa himself were telling them!

Haiku: Deer

Proud doe, newborn fawn
Nestled in the underbrush.
Oh hunter, pass by!