My friend recently lost her driver's license because of neurological problems. She was extremely upset. As a widow, living alone in the suburbs, the car was as useful to her as one of her arms. She was out and about in it daily, visiting, shopping, volunteering, and going to doctor's appointments, the library, and church. It would be a major adjustment to have to manage without it.
We put our heads together and tried to make logical plans. At our ages, all of our friends would face this step eventually. She could be a trailblazer. Maybe we could help them avoid major pitfalls. To this end, I took notes.
The first step was painful: she had to sell the house where she had raised her children. She moved to a small but fully equipped apartment near a mall. Once she was settled, we decided to note the positive aspects of her new situation to encourage those who would be following in her footsteps. The advantages soon became obvious:
1. She had much more disposable income. She no longer had to pay for gas, repairs, car insurance, parking fees and the multitude of miscellaneous expenses that go with car ownership. She gave her late-model car to her oldest grandson. In return, he promised to take her grocery shopping every week, and carry her packages into the apartment. He was so overjoyed to get the car, I think he would have agreed to carry her in and out too!
2. She had more time to relax. She lost the compulsion to plan activities for every day. She began to sleep in later and actually took naps on blustery winter afternoons, instead of risking life and limb on icy roads. One of her grown sons remarked: " Gee Mom, you're finally starting to grow old gracefully."
3. She gave up outside volunteer work. Instead, she found several elderly, fellow residents who had few or no family members. She took them under her wing and received more satisfaction and felt more valued than she had in her former volunteer activities.
4. She took taxis to doctor's appointments and the library. Now that she actually had time to read every book, she became more selective in her choices, even including a few of the classics she had always avoided. Financially, even with taxi fares, she was still miles ahead. She didn't need to worry about finding parking places either- a huge bonus.
5. Along with her mental enrichment, her physical stamina improved. Whenever she felt the stirrings of cabin fever, she walked to the coffee shop in the mall across the street. She was soon on speaking terms with the regulars, and is in the process of forming several interesting new friendships.
6. She found out who her real friends are. They frequently take her out for meals, gatherings, or evenings of entertainment, then bring her home again.
7. Church members in her area pick her up for services and return her home after. The congregation has a "Ministry to Shut-ins" group which ensures that she has as many visitors as she wishes.
8. With the excess funds from the sale of the house, she can afford holidays about which she had formerly only dreamed. Presently she is trying to decide between a cruise in the Caribbean with a friend, and taking two of her grandchildren for a week at Disneyland.
After our friends read our list, they sometimes decide to make the momentous move, sooner rather than later. Adult offspring, residing in basements, have been strongly encouraged to move out. My friend will soon have some of our circle as neighbors in her new residence.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with a real estate agent myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment