It is said that nothing in life is permanent except change. Those changes that most reflect the different stages of our lives are the friendships that come and go over the years. They are like jewels in a precious chain of memory. We can grasp each in turn, almost like a rosary, and remember the person, the the circumstances, the good times and the not-so-good times that we shared with them. Each was different, each was of great value, each had things to teach us.
My earliest memories are of the nineteen forties. My friends were all girls. We lived in the same neighborhood, and went to the same school, a Roman Catholic day school taught by the Sisters. Those were happy, innocent days. The biggest problems were who didn't get invited to who's birthday party and usually it turned out to be only a lost invitation.
After high school, our group was splintered. Some went to university, some to business school, others began nurses' training. I, with several others, went to Teachers' College in a neighboring city. My closest friend had gone another route, but we remained in touch in summer and on holidays.
There were new friends at college and we had lots in common. We helped each other prepare lesson plans and went out practice teaching. Afterward, we'd commiserate with each other's successes and failures in the classroom. In June, we returned to our home towns and another set of friends soon faded into the background of our lives.
Soon the high school group started getting married. There were lots of weddings to attend, but afterward our contacts became less frequent. Everyone was working and looking after a house or apartment and that kept us busy. Also, now there were two sets of parents who deserved some attention. Time for socializing with the girls was scarce.
It was unrealistic to expect our husbands to bond as we had over the years. Gradually, the congenial couples became fewer. Then the babies started to arrive. I had four within seven years.
I continued to teach, we needed the money, but I was constantly exhausted. It wasn't an easy time. My husband, who, I see now, really wasn't mature enough to handle a large family, couldn't take the messy house, the demands of the children, the late meals, and the other inconveniences of having a working wife and four young children. He left to start a new life.
I no longer fit in with my former friends. They were in couples, I was single with four children. Fortunately, I found a new group of friends, people in my situation who gathered for support and fun. They held activities for single parents and their children. The group was called "Parents without Partners". I'm not sure whether the organization is still in existence today, but I would highly recommend it to anyone who finds themselves in that position. It saved my sanity, and I actually started to have some fun times, and so did my children.
After eight years, I met a very special man who was willing, and yes, even anxious to take on a new wife and help with the raising of four young teenagers. We were married. He became my new best friend, and I believe you can understand why. He still holds that position today.
As a recycled family, we maintained a small circle of friends, mostly from our workplaces, but life again was busy with the young people, their schooling, dates, and finally weddings. Now there were ailing parents to add to the bundle of responsibilities. As always, time relentlessly marched along.
At present, I feel as if I had come almost full circle. My husband is still my best friend. My children and grandchildren hold the next dearest places in my heart. I have one close friend from the original school group. Strangely, cousins who seemed to be merely acquaintances in former years, have become quite close. Maybe that old saying about blood being thicker than water has some merit. And, of course our chocolate lab, Phoenix is now my constant companion.
I feel I have been very blessed with friends: those who are presently in my life and those whom I have known through the years. Changes in your life will affect your friendships, it cannot be otherwise.
However, I believe that someday, we'll all meet again in God's kingdom, where there'll be one, grand, everlasting reunion, with no tears, no hurt feelings, no bitterness, no sadness and no curfew. Boy, will we ever have a lot to talk about!
No comments:
Post a Comment